What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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