every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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