yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
