I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
