Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
