Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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