she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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