Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
