nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
