took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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