It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
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And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
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You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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