how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i now understand why vodka
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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