i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize