This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
