Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
