walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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