Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
