If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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