I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
