That's intense
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
