I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize