How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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