i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize