We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize