i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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