Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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