he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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