we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
