The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
soo... how was my night?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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