wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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