it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
