God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
