Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
