So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
