the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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