at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
