my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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