i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
