my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
