he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
