She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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