Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think my moral compass just broke
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
