Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
