i just google imaged poop.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
