One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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