Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
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I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
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I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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