You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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