i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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