Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
