i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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