people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
