they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
