how do flat chested girls get laid?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
