We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
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That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
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Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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