Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
