It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
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If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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