First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Someone shit on the floor
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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