Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
please don't ironically join a cult
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