Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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