honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
