Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
