I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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