So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
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I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
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I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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